There has been widespread condemnation today, following Boris Johnsons latest cabinet reshuffle. After several weeks of isolation, including a hospital stay of several days, the Prime Minister has said in order to survive the next few weeks again, he would need to the support of a new team under him, on top of him and in other positions.
Having appointed 2 lapdancers, 4 porn stars, 3 cheerleaders and 1 Kardashian sister in recent days, to new ministerial positions, the new cabinet will be in lockdown with the Prime Minister, to "have at it day and night" as he put it "to get through this crisis." Opposition leaders, stuck with the likes of Diane Abbot, have called on the PM to share resources like this at a time of national emergency.
Wearing a dressing gown, splattered in baby oil, the Prime Minster added "I welcome the new sexytarys of defence, health, and other departments, and want to assure the people of this country that I will be HARD at it every waking hour. This is the job I was erected, I mean elected, to do. Together this cabinet is better placed than the last to come up with the breast, I mean best, solutions to the challenges this country faces."
Wincing slightly, the PM continued "The new chancellor, Miss Dominatrix, has already established a firm grip on the business end of things, and rapidly whipped, and smacked, her department into shape, along with me too, as I have been a very, very naughty boy."
This isn't the first time a world leader has locked down with a hotty or two. Churchill famously spent the blitz under ground with Dame Vera Lyn, & JFK had Marilyn Monroe shipped to his Nuclear bunker, most nights, during the Cuban missile crisis.