Vivan Smartass Returns

An Hour In My Life (Really, just an hour)

Cast of Characters:

Me:  Recruiter of Awesomeness
Moron:  2 pm appointment applicant
Asshat:  10 am appointment applicant
Asshat’s Mom:  Self-explanatory

Me:  *working in a frenzy – busy, busy!*
Moron:  *walks in at 1:20 for a 2 pm interview*  Hi, I have a 2 o’clock
Me:  *smiling*  Ok, I will be right with you!  *tries to finish what I’m doing as well as answer calls*
Moron:  *comes back up to me at 1:30*  Um, the reason I was here early was that I DO have another job…
Me:  *sort of shocked at his rudeness*  Oh!  Um, ok… *gives him paperwork*

PHONE RINGS OMG ANSWER ME NOWWWW!
Me:  Hello, Recruiter of Awesomeness, what’s up y’all?
Asshat:  Hi I’m on my way for my appointment…
Me:  *glancing at clock* ok well you were supposed to be here at 10 am.
Asshat:  Oh .. uh .. really?
Me:  *inward sigh*  If you come now, I can try to squeeze you in
Asshat:  OK!

10 minutes later…

Moron comes up and asks questions about the job he’s applying for, questions that were fully covered in the online ad that he answered.  I explain the job requirements, wherein he says he doesn’t have the experience that is required.  He tells me where he works – a VERY menial job, by the way, and not (IMO) nearly important enough for him to have been so rude about demanding I begin the interview early, especially since I know he doesn’t have to be at work until 3.

Asshat and Asshat’s Mom walk in.  WHY WOULD YOU BRING YOUR MOM TO A JOB INTERVIEW?!  THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!

Asshat pushes her way to the desk and I give her her paperwork.  Moron goes back to finish filling out his.  Ah, a moment of peace!  I try to get some calls done, emails read, and so on.

Asshat’s Mom:  Excuse me?!?!?
Me:  Yes?
Asshat’s Mom:  I don’t have internet access so I couldn’t put in an application.  Can I fill out the paperwork too?
Really?  You’re going to ask to do a walk-in when we clearly do appointments only?
Me:  No, sorry.  We need the online application, and within 24 hours of receiving that, I will call you to schedule an interview.
Asshat’s Mom:  How long?
Me:  Within 24 hours…
Asshat’s Mom:  Ok  *walks away*
Me:  *trying frantically to work*

Moron:  Ok so uh tell me about this job.
Me:  I thought you weren’t going to continue since you don’t have the required experience?
Moron:  Oh, uh, ok.  *goes back and sit down*
Me:  *???*

Asshat’s Mom:  Where’s the bathroom?
Me:  *sighs and gives her the key*

Asshat pushes her way up to my desk to take her ID’s back. She’s not done with her paperwork, she just had to get them RIGHT THAT MINUTE.

Me:  *wishes for vodka*

Finally my partner finished up her conference call and I told her that Asshat was here, Asshat being her candidate.  She flat-out told Asshat that she’d have to reschedule since her appointment was at 10 am (ha!)

Asshat’s Mom:  So if I put in an application, when will you call me?  4 days?  I didn’t hear you before.
Me:  OMFG Lady, within 24 hours!  Fuck off!  (Last part, I wish)

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