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An Hour In My Life (Really, just an hour)
Cast of Characters:
Me: Recruiter of Awesomeness
Moron: 2 pm appointment applicant
Asshat: 10 am appointment applicant
Asshat’s Mom: Self-explanatory
Me: *working in a frenzy – busy, busy!*
Moron: *walks in at 1:20 for a 2 pm interview* Hi, I have a 2 o’clock
Me: *smiling* Ok, I will be right with you! *tries to finish what I’m doing as well as answer calls*
Moron: *comes back up to me at 1:30* Um, the reason I was here early was that I DO have another job…
Me: *sort of shocked at his rudeness* Oh! Um, ok… *gives him paperwork*
PHONE RINGS OMG ANSWER ME NOWWWW!
Me: Hello, Recruiter of Awesomeness, what’s up y’all?
Asshat: Hi I’m on my way for my appointment…
Me: *glancing at clock* ok well you were supposed to be here at 10 am.
Asshat: Oh .. uh .. really?
Me: *inward sigh* If you come now, I can try to squeeze you in
10 minutes later…
Moron comes up and asks questions about the job he’s applying for, questions that were fully covered in the online ad that he answered. I explain the job requirements, wherein he says he doesn’t have the experience that is required. He tells me where he works – a VERY menial job, by the way, and not (IMO) nearly important enough for him to have been so rude about demanding I begin the interview early, especially since I know he doesn’t have to be at work until 3.
Asshat and Asshat’s Mom walk in. WHY WOULD YOU BRING YOUR MOM TO A JOB INTERVIEW?! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!
Asshat pushes her way to the desk and I give her her paperwork. Moron goes back to finish filling out his. Ah, a moment of peace! I try to get some calls done, emails read, and so on.
Asshat’s Mom: Excuse me?!?!?
Asshat’s Mom: I don’t have internet access so I couldn’t put in an application. Can I fill out the paperwork too?
Really? You’re going to ask to do a walk-in when we clearly do appointments only?
Me: No, sorry. We need the online application, and within 24 hours of receiving that, I will call you to schedule an interview.
Asshat’s Mom: How long?
Me: Within 24 hours…
Asshat’s Mom: Ok *walks away*
Me: *trying frantically to work*
Moron: Ok so uh tell me about this job.
Me: I thought you weren’t going to continue since you don’t have the required experience?
Moron: Oh, uh, ok. *goes back and sit down*
Asshat’s Mom: Where’s the bathroom?
Me: *sighs and gives her the key*
Asshat pushes her way up to my desk to take her ID’s back. She’s not done with her paperwork, she just had to get them RIGHT THAT MINUTE.
Me: *wishes for vodka*
Finally my partner finished up her conference call and I told her that Asshat was here, Asshat being her candidate. She flat-out told Asshat that she’d have to reschedule since her appointment was at 10 am (ha!)
Asshat’s Mom: So if I put in an application, when will you call me? 4 days? I didn’t hear you before.
Me: OMFG Lady, within 24 hours! Fuck off! (Last part, I wish)
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