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Brad: Good morning,
readers fuckers... today we bring you a tale of
tender moments, budding romance, and true love.
pfffttttttBWAHAHAHAHA! Yeah right!!! You came to WTAF news, aka Knock Your Ass Back to Reality news... not Fairy Tale Land News! [wipes tear]
Anyhoo, as I was saying, we bring you a tale of events witnessed last night while at a local pub... let's call it The Murky Turkey - Best Damn Watering Hole for Douchbags. As I and a few friends of mine were enjoying a drink and pleasant conversation, a random D-Bag appears out of nowhere like a wild Pokemon and asks to bum a smoke. I give it to him only for the fact that he will have something to stick in his mouth and shut him the hell up so we could continue talking. As I handed him the lighter, I took a quick scan of the boy; bleached blonde tips slathered in product, name brand swank wear, huge bling fashion watch, good complexion, and whitened teeth. Mmm-hmm. Gurl, there is a fine line between 'metrosexual' and 'give it to me in the butt, sailor', and you just pranced right over that line while leaving a trail of glitter. Look at you trying to blend in and act all butch! Aww, that's cute! ^_^ So, he is sitting there all alone when this thick (not fat, but definitely not thin) ditzy thing in high heels and
skin tight dress with hair reeking of peroxide comes over to his table and sits
down with him. They're laughing and
flirting and drinking and smoking and having a gay ol' time... well, one of
them was... the other was just along for the closeted ride. Then the butch thing gets up from the table
leaving Blondezilla behind fiddling with her drink. She looks at us, looks at her purse, then
back to us, "Hey... that guy that I am with... can you just act like there
was never a girl here? I'm
leaving." "Uh, yeah,
sure..." we all responded. She
starts to gather up her things, "He just told me he has a girlfriend. I am not cool with that." I snicker, "Oh honey... right... a
'girlfriend'... sweetie, he's gay."
This doesn't seem to faze her at all, "No he's not. He said that he wanted to get with
me." [thinking to myself: yeah, to
go through your wardrobe] She then
leaves and we wait for about five minutes to deliver the message to homeboy
homoboy and watch the aftermath, like a live Jerry Springer episode. He never came back. Wow.
They both just ditched each other.
I cannot believe that I witnessed that... but then again, I was in
Douchetown and should've expected it.
Romance really does seem to be dead.
First off, that is really shitty to go on a date when you are already
with someone, if he indeed did have a girlfriend and not an excuse to repel The
Bleached Amazon. Second, that is super shitty to just run off from a date like a scared balls-less pussy instead of
nutting up to the job and letting them down in person. Hell, a text message across the table is
better than high tailing it out of there!
WTAF, peeps?! >_<
Anyhoo, that was my eventful night... how was yours, Stacy?! ^_^
2 comments to "Dine and ditch... without the dine."